In the Autumn of 2021 I lost my little brother. He died way too early. News of his death shocked and stunned close friends and family. We decided that it would be a more fitting setting for a “Celebration of Life” ceremony in December to be held in an Irish Pub. Charlie would have liked that.
If you were in attendance that evening you will recall me telling this story during my eulogy. I will recite it now for those that were not present.
It was 1990 and my sister was pregnant with her first child. The circle of family and friends awaited anxiously for the arrival of the new baby. On March 16th the day had come. Matthew was born 7lbs, 12oz to very happy parents. The grandparents were ecstatic. A week later Matthew was making his first trip to his maternal grandparent’s home. I was there. Charlie was there.
People that have met my brother over the years learned quickly that he had a deviant sense of humor, often seeming to have no limits to risk or consequences. I found this characteristic mostly hysterical, but sometimes overwhelming.
There was a car pulling into my mother’s driveway. It was my sister, Karen and her newborn son, Matthew. Excitement exploded in the household as I got a good look how my mother transformed into a grandmother right before my eyes. Charlie and I went out to the car to help Karen with the baby and a myriad of carry-ons. I had no idea such a little thing needed so much luggage at just one week old. My mother was on the front porch just beaming! She wanted to meet her new grandson. The whole entourage moved forward and into house with Matthew in grandma’s warm arms.
We settled in the living room and got mom & baby comfortable. Talk immediately moved to baby stuff. Fun facts about babies that soon found Charlie and I bored, which is never a good thing. As they say, “Idle hands are the Devil’s playground” To fill the gap of boredom, we wandered out of the living room and he and I started with some harmless teasing. That’s usually how we start. More baby talk seeped out of the living room. And now I was really getting turned off. We went into the dining room to see what kind of trouble we could muster up. With hands in our pockets and no inspiration insight, we started harassing one of our dogs. They played along until things started heating up. Sooner or later even dogs know when something is about to go awry.
Suddenly and unexpectedly Charlie just left the dining room in mid-sentence and re-entered the Living room and walked right up to grandma & grandson. “I want to hold him” he said. Both women stopped talking and looked at him. This is not a “thing” that my brother does… ever. “Well okay, but just for a bit. You have to be very careful and please hold him like this. There you go. Support the head!” “This is easy” Charlie said. “Don’t they look great together?” my sister and mother agreed rhetorically. Charlie started a natural hip sway that I’m told babies like. Soon the conversation resumed and that was that.
I felt that same boredom slipping back in. What’s this all about. Charlie must have been holding Matt for ten minutes when the baby talk hit a new low. Gradually, I noticed Charlie easing out of the living room and over my way. My sensors were picking up on something. But he never came over by me in the dining room, instead he stepped into the hallway to his left and disappeared. I was up and moving. As I reached the hallway entrance I could see him turn to the left where the hall zig-zags and he was gone again. I had to see where this was going.
I poked my head around the wall at the zig-zag point just in time to see him slip into our parent’s master bedroom on his right. I continued on. By the time I reached the door I could see him at the bedside doing something. He had placed little Matthew in the center of the king-size bed and placed pillows on both sides of the swaddling-babe. He removed one of the blankets from Matt. I remained motionless and quiet. He had not discovered my presence yet, and I wanted to keep it that way. I pulled back from the doorway so I only had one eye on this potentially diabolical scene. He moved away from the bed and turned to the far corner of the room (oh no!), the corner where my mother kept her creepy doll collection. I guess they were antiques or something. I thought they were absurd & frightening.
Then I finally seen what the sinister mind of my brother was calculating. He carefully lifted one of the dolls from its little rocking chair and wrapped it in Matt’s warm blanket. He spun around and I ducked back. I didn’t think he had seen me but my location was too risky. I backpedaled into a bedroom behind me, lights off and door ajar. I could hear him say something sweet to Matt and then I heard steps. I held my breath as he passed by my door holding an imposter in Matt’s blanket. As he passed me and moved down the passageway, I opened my door and returned into the hall, stepping like a burglar in the night. I could see him turn towards the living room and then he was gone. I had to pick up the pace if I was going to see the outcome.
As I reached the end of the hall and turned right I could see Charlie approach my mom & sister. They were not paying attention to him and still talking (you got it), baby stuff. He waited patiently for a few moments and then with no warning raised the baby-wrapped blanket over his head, high in the air. And then in one of his silly voices (he had a lot), he hollered, “Bad Baby! Bad! Bad! Bad!” and threw the doll on the carpeted floor where it landed and rolled opening the blanket and revealing a baby doll.
“Brilliant!” I thought, boy he sure got them!
My mother and sister did not have the same reaction. My sister was first, she stood up and punched him in the arm which caused him to squeal. Boy, I should have made popcorn for this show. Next, my mother without rising up from her seat on the sofa, started listing off all of the consequences for this cruel joke, which included some serious grounding-time. Karen was up and moving, she passed by me studying my face closely to see if there was an accomplice in this crime. I shrugged my shoulder indicating pure innocence and she dismissed me. She was on her way to the back of the house to find her kidnapped child.
I could see that Charlie’s part of this show was over as he picked up the doll and handed it to mom. I followed my sister back. As I turned to the master bedroom I could see that she had found her offspring and was tending to him. Mother and baby were just fine.
We were at my brother’s “Celebration of Life” in an Irish Pub and I was telling this story. These were my brother’s closest friends and family. Matt was there too but now all grown up and 31 years old. Nobody had ever heard of this story except for my sister who some how finally found the smile I had on that day so many years ago.
Charlie rest in peace.
#hemphillsongcom
#michaelhemphillstories
#michaelhemphillsongs
#songwritersofinstagram
#songwritersoffacebook
#findmeonspotify
Leave a Reply