It's 2008 and once again I'm in hot pursuit of a new life-changing event. I remember as a child, I couldn't understand why my grandmother Millie couldn't just stay put. It seems she was moving to a new house every couple of years. But like I said, it was 2008 and I was a full-grown [...]

It was brilliant. I had to admit it, I was impressed with myself. Each object had two lead couplings. Once the object was chosen, one coupling would become the "winner" and the other forced to be the "loser". But this is where things get clever. The "winner" would produce a new set of lead couplings [...]

The Telephone Pole Michael Hemphill September  17, 2010 Do you have any idea how heavy a 75 foot telephone pole weighs?  I do. The year was 1979.  Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers were playing in town the night the telephone pole was struck down out in front of the my friend's house.  Some guys from high school [...]

The Guy Who Gets To Name Fonts Michael Hemphill August  31, 2010 Corsiva, Albertus, Estrangelo-Edessa, Garamond, Kartika, Marlett, Tahoma and Verdana... I want to meet the guy that gets to name fonts.  I wonder what his list of rejected font names might look like... Flemonit.Honess-Blagoyavit.Foulfarth.Forledder-Wurtz.Hitlerfrendt.Cubzwen-WhrlSerees. There are two different categories of fonts: Serif and San [...]

Root Beer and Bananas Michael Hemphill August 30, 2010 Root Beer and Bananas, bad combination?  You bet!  Unless you are already an unfortunate victim of this combination like myself, then take heed to this important message! Root beer and bananas should never be eaten at the same time without ice cream.  If you want to partake in [...]

Grandma and the Fireball Michael Hemphill December 22, 2011 In 1976, I was just 14 years old when our proud country was celebrating its 200th birthday.  As a tribute to the upcoming event, Ray and Mildred Thilmont decided to host a family gathering.  In 1976, they lived in Griffith, Indiana.  Millie, as most called her, [...]

Chap Stick and the Vacuum Cleaner Michael Hemphill September 25, 2010 Have you ever tasted bad chap stick?  Most brands of chap stick or lip balm come in a variety of flavors, and for the most part, have a non-offensive taste.  So how could it be that I found myself wondering this very question one day [...]

Autumn Comes Again Michael Hemphill August 25, 2010 I like to try and find the FIRST hint of a new season.  I've oftened said that Autumn in Chicago is the most predictable of all seasons found here.  So, it is no surprise to see at least one tree on every residential block setting down an [...]

A Horse for Christmas Michael Hemphill September 1, 2010 I grew up on a farm in the Midwestern United States.  That's not all together true, I mean, it was definitely about as Midwest as you can get, but it wasn't really a farm.  We lived a farm-like life in some respects I guess.  We had [...]